Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Too fast?

I glanced shyly at Eric, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.  Dinner had been wonderful and conversation had come easily between the two of us.  We'd laughed and chatted and flirted throughout the meal and the way he looked at me made me feel like I was the only woman in the world.  Now, we were sitting quietly side by side on his couch watching a movie and I was wondering whether or not he would kiss me that night.

I could barely focus on the movie; all I could focus on was him and the butterflies I felt when I looked at him.  Eric seemed to sense my gaze and turned towards me.  Our eyes met and neither of us could look away.

Slowly and with purpose, Eric leaned in close.  He cradled my face tenderly in his palm and tipped my chin back.  I could feel my heartbeat quicken as he leaned in closer and brushed his lips softly against my own.  I slid my hands up around his neck and pulled him closer to me, kissing him harder and sighing into his mouth as he ran a hand through my hair and tugged gently.  Eric grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, tracing a trail down my neck and across my collar bone with his mouth, nipping lightly at my skin.  A shiver rolled down my spine as I basked in the sensations of his lips on my skin and I could feel my desire for him building.  No man had ever invoked such passion in me so easily and I wanted nothing more than to devour him.  Quickly and clumsily, I reached for his belt and slid his jeans down over his hips.  Before I could even consider how things would change between us and stop myself from crossing a line I could never uncross, he was inside me.

Afterward, while he redressed, I smoothed out my dress and ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to appear more presentable.  Eric glanced at me and motioned for the front door.

"So, are you ready to go?"

"Um, sure," I answered hesitantly.  I picked up my purse and followed him to the car.  The ride back to my apartment was filled mostly with a comfortable silence, yet the million thoughts in my mind were deafening.  Had he just used me for sex? How could I sleep with someone I hardly knew?  Would I ever hear from him again?  Had I done something wrong?

I felt my cheeks grow hot as I blushed with shame.  The sex had been hot and passionate and fun, but he was practically a stranger and I was definitely not the type of girl who had sex on the first date.  I wondered what he must think of me and whether or not this would change things between us.  Once you have sex, there is no going back.

We pulled up in front of my apartment building and I reached for the door handle.  I had the door halfway open when Eric grabbed my arm.  He was smiling and his eyes danced with good-natured amusement.

"Sorry again to rush you out the door like that, I just have to work an early shift tomorrow and hadn't intended to be up so late.  Can I call you so we can get together again?" He winked and ran a hand up my arm.

"It's fine, I understand.  And you better call me!" I joked, returning his smile. I felt all the tension in my shoulders melt away as I realized I'd been mentally freaking out for no reason. He leaned in to kiss me and his lips lingered on mine.  I reluctantly broke the kiss and exited the car.

I was relieved when I realized Kate wasn't home that night.  I needed a hot shower to unwind and cleanse myself of Eric's scent, and I wasn't in the mood to discuss the night's events just yet.  I needed more time with my thoughts to really decide how I felt and whether or not I had made a big mistake.

As I settled in to the couch, wrapping myself in a blanket, all I could think of was how out of character I had behaved with Eric and how worried I was that things were moving way too quickly between us.  I hoped my mind would be more clear in the morning.  Finally, I drifted off to sleep.


  1. Hey Emma, welcome back!

    Why do I have warning bells going off about Eric? I hope all is okay with that.

  2. I'm with Hope, Eric seems shady

  3. Ditto and ditto!

  4. Hi, Emma. I just found your blog by accident and I am really enjoying it. Hope you keep it up! mum

  5. that rushing her out the door business was kinda weird =S... I sense he has douche bag written all over him!