Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Hell Hath No Fury

I looked around the room in disbelief. It was still early, only 7 am so Michael hadn't left for work yet. There was no evidence that Michael had made it to bed. A slow rage filled me, and when I was sure that I wasn't going to vomit, I quietly stormed downstairs.

I heard voices in the kitchen and was disgusted at how quiet and cozy they sounded. Who did this pretty bitch think she was, drinking coffee with my boyfriend in my kitchen, with no regard for me?

The talking stopped abruptly when Manda and Michael spotted me. She looked fresh and gorgeous and I hated her in that moment.

"Nice of you to come to bed last night," I spat, enjoying the way Michael cringed at my tone, "and don't bother with the bullshit excuse that you didn't want to wake me."

I spun and faced Manda next, fixing my icy glare on her. I grabbed the coffee cup from in front of her and dumped it down the sink, never taking my eyes off of her. I couldn't help but notice the fear in her eyes and the flush spreading across her cheeks. I reveled in it.

"As for you, your welcome has been worn out already. Quite frankly, I don't care about what's going on in your life and it's time for you to go. Now."

I was fully aware of the way they were both staring at me and I knew I was coming across as a jealous nutcase, but in that moment, I didn't care. I was livid. Manda stammered and stumbled over her words.

"Michael, uh, he drove me here. I have no way to leave," her voice was small, meek. I almost felt bad for her but my anger was overtaking me.

"Fine! Then you can both leave."

I stood there for another minute before rushing back upstairs, where I promptly vomited in my bathroom sink. I locked the door and ran the water for a few minutes, willing myself to calm down. When I was sure I was calm, I opened the door to head back to bed for a few hours. Instead, I found myself face to face with Manda and my rage returned.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


My heart is shattered. My sweet baby kitty died yesterday. It feels like the tears will never stop falling. Why Yoda Kevin? He was just a fucking baby, only 8 months old and I loved him so much. He slept with me every night, we snuggled and watched movies together daily, he followed me everywhere and we even took showers together. Our bond was special… Why him? :(  It was a terrible accident.  He was staying at my mom's house in New York because I haven't been able to convince her to send him to me yet.  My 12 year old sister was running through the house and didn't see him; she stumbled/stepped on him Thursday evening.  My mom was out of town so it was just my 17 year old sister, my 12 year old sister and my 10 year old sister trying to take care of him with no money and no car to get him to a vet.  He seemed to be doing okay until yesterday when his breathing changed and he refused food and didn't want to be held anymore.  My brother drove 30 minutes to get to my mom's to rush him to the Emergency Vet about 45 minutes away...he died before they could get there.  I cried until 4AM and I'm still so torn up.  It sounds crazy, but I had a very, very special bond with him.  He even slept inside my tank top at night and never left my side during the day.  He can never be replaced.

I'll miss you, sweet baby <3  I took this picture not long before I left New York.  My 17 year old sister is heartbroken; she promised to take good care of him for me until I could send for him and she blames herself because she didn't have a way to get him to a vet.  My 12 year old sister keeps apologizing for killing him - I tried to tell her it was just an accident and I don't blame her but she's feeling a LOT of guilt. 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

And you must be...?

*Hi everyone!  Sorry for the lack of posts; moving across country was exhausting and I've been spending all of my time with my boyfriend, making up for lost time.  Enjoy the post!*

The first thing I noticed was how striking her eyes were.  They were an icy shade of blue and surrounded by long, thick dark lashes that I personally would kill for.  Her hair was long, blonde and made me think of California babes on California beaches.  In a word, she was stunning.

The second thing I noticed was how close she was sitting to Michael, yet guilt or surprise never registered on her face.  Michael, however, looked nervous, and slightly jumpy.

"You must be Emma," she beamed.  I nodded and made a small sound of confirmation, then directed my questioning eyes towards Michael.

"Honey! This is Manda, we work together.  She had a fight with her fiance and has nowhere else to go, so I figured you wouldn't mind if she stayed here in the guest room?"

I pressed my lips together firmly, wanting to insist it was far from ok to invite a gorgeous stranger into my home while I was gone and then ask her to stay the night.  Instead, I put on what I hoped was my most gracious and welcoming smile.

"Manda, sorry to meet you under unpleasant circumstances, but you are welcome to stay the night."

She smiled, and I couldn't help but notice how perfect her teeth were.  Did this girl have a flaw?

"Thank you so, so much.  I hope I'm not intruding.  I've heard so much about you!  And I hear you're expecting?  You look great!"

Funny, I had never heard a thing about her.  I also couldn't be sure if she was genuinely sweet, or if she was fake.  I glanced and Michael and gave him a tightlipped smile, knowing he would get the message that he would be getting an earful as soon as I had him alone.

"Well, thank you.  Anyway, I'm exhausted and need a bath so I'll be retiring to the bedroom now.  Again, Manda, nice to meet you.  Michael can show you to the guest room.  The sheets are clean and I hope you and your fiance work things out..." I let the words hang in the air, hoping they would both take the hint that while I was going to do my best to pleasant, I wasn't happy with the situation.

I made my way upstairs and filled the tub.  As I lay there soaking in the fragrant bubbles and deliciously warm water, I listened for the sound of footsteps on the stairs.  After awhile I began to doze, so I made my way to the bedroom.  Surely, Michael would be coming up to bed soon?

I stared at the clock and watched the minutes tick by as I waited.  I became aware of how tired I was and decided to rest my eyes, knowing that even if I dozed off, I would wake up when Michael came to bed.  I wasn't a light sleeper, but I almost always woke up when he got in or out of bed.

The next thing I knew, it was morning and I was waking up...alone.