Monday, May 30, 2011

Life Goes On

It had been just over a week since I had left Michael for good.  The bruises on my arm were a sickly yellow color with tinges of green and purple still fading away.  Kate had been concerned when I showed up unexpectedly, crying and bruised, and had attempted to persuade me to file a police report.  That seemed far too drastic, so I instead documented the bruises thoroughly and photographed them with a timestamp each day.  Michael had made no attempt to contact me and I was relieved.  I had never known Michael to be violent or aggressive, and it had shaken me more than I liked to admit.  I knew I would have to face him at my upcoming doctor's appointment, but I was hoping the situation would have settled down considerably by then.

Kate generously agreed to let me stay with her for a month, rent free, so I could put extra money into my bank account before signing a lease on an apartment.  The apartment complex she lived in was affordable, within walking distance of my job and in a convenient area of town.  They were also offering move-in specials and I had decided to lease an apartment there as well.  Kate also offered to let me take her bed instead of sleeping on the couch, but I refused.  It was certainly uncomfortable, but I would survive.

Work was draining and becoming mundane, but I had heard of an advancement opportunity within the company and submitted my resume a few days prior.  I knew the chance was slim, but I couldn't let the chance of a promotion and pay increase pass me by without at least trying.  I hadn't heard yet if I was being considered for an interview, but I was hopeful!

At fifteen weeks along, I was starting to show more each day and people at work were fawning over me.  I was uncomfortable with all of the attention on my changing body, but it felt nice to have so many people interested in my life.  The most common questions were, of course, "What are you having?" and "When are you due?" - I would be finding out the sex of the baby in the coming weeks and promised everyone that I would announce it as soon as I knew.  I had an appointment scheduled three weeks from now and the doctor was hopeful I would find out the gender then.

As stressed out as I was over everything, I wasn't stressed at the idea of being a single mom.  I had really begun to embrace my pregnancy and the prospect of motherhood.  In fact, I was excited.  I had never seen myself as a mother, but now, I couldn't wait to meet the little person growing inside of me.  I knew balancing my life would only get harder once the baby arrived but it was a challenge I couldn't wait to face.

As for Eric, we had started talking again but I was tentative to see him again.  I knew I was emotional and vulnerable, and I was afraid I would project that on him.  Despite what we had already gone through, I hardly knew him as well as I would've liked, but I was determined to change that...


  1. Yay, Eric! I had hoped he'd make a comeback soon :)

  2. i want to see where this is headed but i would like an update on your real life blog too plzzzzzzzzzzz

  3. Yay glad you're back! I'm with sweet canadian. I enjoy your real life blog! I hope everything is going well in your current life too! You are very talented at art and I hope you keep pursuing it!