Saturday, August 28, 2010

Decisions, Decisions.

"Kate, Dale, I have a problem," I began, swirling the ice cubes in my vodka cranberry and reaching down to pet Whiskers as she rubbed against my shins, "and I need your advice."

"K, let's hear it," Kate chuckled.

"Well, I don't think I'm over Michael.  I know we were together for a long time and it's been a lot of adjustment, but it's more than that, I think.  Actually, I don't know what I think.  I'm into Eric, we have a great time together and the sex is amazing, but I think that's all there is for us.  I don't see myself with Eric for a long time and I don't even see us being an item.  Like, I don't want to be his girlfriend, I guess I just wanted a fling.  And now I miss Michael.  And now I don't know what to do," I sighed, mentally scolding myself for sounding so whiny. 

Dale and Kate exchanged a glance before returning their eyes to me.  Kate was silent for a moment, digesting what I'd just admitted.  This was the first time I'd acknowledged that my interest in Eric was waning and my feelings for Michael were still strong.  It had been a week since our date to Golden Palace and our rendezvous in the parking lot.  That night, we had returned to his apartment for another steamy romp, but again, he practically pushed me out the door when we were done.  Quite frankly, I was tired of his games.  As for Michael, we had started texting each other again over the past few days and I realized that my feelings for him had never dissipated.  I was beginning to wonder if I hadn't made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving him.

"Emma, I can't really give you any advice on that.  You know me, I've never had a steady boyfriend and I'm all about having fun.  You're not me though.  Like, I can totally see what you're saying about Eric.  Sure, he's hot and you guys have fun in the bedroom but you deserve more than that.  If Michael is what you want..." Kate trailed off, looking a little sad.  I could tell she was disappointed.  She didn't hate Michael or anything, but she had always thought I could do better and never really said why.  I had often wondered if she was jealous but never asked for fear of hurting her feelings.

"What about you, Dale, what do you think?"

"All I can say is that you need to talk to both of them, let them both know how you feel.  I can't tell you what the right thing to do is, just do what feels right for you," Dale replied.  He didn't know Michael any more than he knew Eric, so his opinion was generic, and that was basically all I needed: a generic response that I could interpret my own way.

"You guys are right, I can't rely on your advice to make a decision for me.  I just need to talk to both of them and really figure out what I want.  Or maybe I just shouldn't talk to either of them and I should find a new guy," I joked in an attempt to redirect the conversation away from my personal issues.

"Haha, well good luck with that one, Emma!  Anyway, guys, I better head out before it gets any later," Dale said, finishing his drink and getting up from the floor.

Kate and I stood to hug Dale goodnight, and I walked him to the door, locking it behind him.  I always made it a point to lock the door at night, even though we lived in a safe neighborhood, it didn't hurt to be careful.

"I'll be right back, I gotta pee!" Kate announced, making her way through the small living room.  I settled back into my spot on the couch, pulling Whiskers into my lap and scratching under her chin.

I heard Kate cursing to herself in the bathroom.  She cracked the door open a second later and peeked her head out.  "Emma, do you have a tampon I could borrow?  I promise I won't return it!"

"Actually, Kate, I haven't--" I stopped midsentece, and I could feel all the blood drain from my face.

"Haven't what, Em?" Kate looked concerned.

"How long have I been staying here, six weeks or so?"  I asked, hoping Kate would disagree. 

Instead, she nodded.

"Yeah, six weeks, why?  What's wrong?  You don't look so good, are you okay?"

"Six weeks...and I haven't had my period once since I've been here.  That's what's wrong!"

Tears sprang to my eyes as the realization hit me full-force and the implications hung in the air heavily.  Kate's mouth opened and then closed again promptly, making me think of a goldfish.  She shook her head, opened and closed her mouth again.  It would've been comical if I weren't so upset.  Finally, she found her voice.

"Oh, shit."


  1. Yay, a new post! Great, as usual, too :-)

  2. Ooh!! Love the new twist!!!! I'm loving your story.

  3. Whoa, let me pick my jaw up off the desk! mum