Saturday, August 28, 2010

Decisions, Decisions.

"Kate, Dale, I have a problem," I began, swirling the ice cubes in my vodka cranberry and reaching down to pet Whiskers as she rubbed against my shins, "and I need your advice."

"K, let's hear it," Kate chuckled.

"Well, I don't think I'm over Michael.  I know we were together for a long time and it's been a lot of adjustment, but it's more than that, I think.  Actually, I don't know what I think.  I'm into Eric, we have a great time together and the sex is amazing, but I think that's all there is for us.  I don't see myself with Eric for a long time and I don't even see us being an item.  Like, I don't want to be his girlfriend, I guess I just wanted a fling.  And now I miss Michael.  And now I don't know what to do," I sighed, mentally scolding myself for sounding so whiny. 

Dale and Kate exchanged a glance before returning their eyes to me.  Kate was silent for a moment, digesting what I'd just admitted.  This was the first time I'd acknowledged that my interest in Eric was waning and my feelings for Michael were still strong.  It had been a week since our date to Golden Palace and our rendezvous in the parking lot.  That night, we had returned to his apartment for another steamy romp, but again, he practically pushed me out the door when we were done.  Quite frankly, I was tired of his games.  As for Michael, we had started texting each other again over the past few days and I realized that my feelings for him had never dissipated.  I was beginning to wonder if I hadn't made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving him.

"Emma, I can't really give you any advice on that.  You know me, I've never had a steady boyfriend and I'm all about having fun.  You're not me though.  Like, I can totally see what you're saying about Eric.  Sure, he's hot and you guys have fun in the bedroom but you deserve more than that.  If Michael is what you want..." Kate trailed off, looking a little sad.  I could tell she was disappointed.  She didn't hate Michael or anything, but she had always thought I could do better and never really said why.  I had often wondered if she was jealous but never asked for fear of hurting her feelings.

"What about you, Dale, what do you think?"

"All I can say is that you need to talk to both of them, let them both know how you feel.  I can't tell you what the right thing to do is, just do what feels right for you," Dale replied.  He didn't know Michael any more than he knew Eric, so his opinion was generic, and that was basically all I needed: a generic response that I could interpret my own way.

"You guys are right, I can't rely on your advice to make a decision for me.  I just need to talk to both of them and really figure out what I want.  Or maybe I just shouldn't talk to either of them and I should find a new guy," I joked in an attempt to redirect the conversation away from my personal issues.

"Haha, well good luck with that one, Emma!  Anyway, guys, I better head out before it gets any later," Dale said, finishing his drink and getting up from the floor.

Kate and I stood to hug Dale goodnight, and I walked him to the door, locking it behind him.  I always made it a point to lock the door at night, even though we lived in a safe neighborhood, it didn't hurt to be careful.

"I'll be right back, I gotta pee!" Kate announced, making her way through the small living room.  I settled back into my spot on the couch, pulling Whiskers into my lap and scratching under her chin.

I heard Kate cursing to herself in the bathroom.  She cracked the door open a second later and peeked her head out.  "Emma, do you have a tampon I could borrow?  I promise I won't return it!"

"Actually, Kate, I haven't--" I stopped midsentece, and I could feel all the blood drain from my face.

"Haven't what, Em?" Kate looked concerned.

"How long have I been staying here, six weeks or so?"  I asked, hoping Kate would disagree. 

Instead, she nodded.

"Yeah, six weeks, why?  What's wrong?  You don't look so good, are you okay?"

"Six weeks...and I haven't had my period once since I've been here.  That's what's wrong!"

Tears sprang to my eyes as the realization hit me full-force and the implications hung in the air heavily.  Kate's mouth opened and then closed again promptly, making me think of a goldfish.  She shook her head, opened and closed her mouth again.  It would've been comical if I weren't so upset.  Finally, she found her voice.

"Oh, shit."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Addicted To You

I pulled away from Eric, slightly embarrassed.  We were in the parking lot of Golden Palace, a local Chinese restaurant and had been making out pretty heavily for the last few minutes.  The windows were starting to fog and I was pretty sure we were making a spectacle of ourselves.  I could see the lust in his eyes and knew without a doubt that I would be sleeping with him again that night, despite telling myself not to.  The spark when we touched was absolutely electric and I knew that I didn't have the willpower to resist him.

"Come on, let's go eat," I giggled, getting out of the car.  I smoothed my top, straightened my denim skirt and fluffed my hair as I waited for Eric to lock up the car.  He draped his arm loosely over my shoulders and I leaned into him as we strolled into the restaurant.

We were seated in a booth in a dimly lit, romantic looking section of the restaurant.  He placed his hand over mine on the table top and gazed into my eyes.  Conversation was light and flowed easily, with no lulls at all.  It was almost like the awkwardness between us had never existed.  Neither of us touched on the subject of the misunderstanding we'd had and for that I was grateful.  The attraction I felt towards him seemed to grow with each passing minute and I couldn't believe that I'd nearly ended things between us before they even really started.

We lingered over dinner, talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company.  Soon, we were the only two left in the place and I could tell they were waiting for us to leave so they could close up.  I paid the bill for our meals and we made our way back to the parking lot.  By now it was fully dark and the parking lot was deserted. 

Eric moved as if to open my car door for me, but instead grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him.  His lips found mine again as he pressed my back up against the side of his car.  I could feel his hands running up and down my sides as he kissed me harder, moving his body over mine. 

I pulled back and gasped lightly as his hands slid up my thighs, under my skirt and over the lace of the thong I was wearing.  He rubbed gently, making small circles and I shuddered.  Gently he pushed my thong to the side and slid his fingers inside me. 

Eric's lips were on mine again and I sighed into his mouth as his fingers continued working down below.  Knowing we could be caught at any second made the sensations even more exhilirating.

"I want you.  Now," I murmured, arching my back against the side of his car and fumbling with his zipper.  He growled deep in his throat, gripping the flesh just under the swell of my ass, and lifting me up against the car as he thrust himself into me.

I bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.  I had never, ever had sex in a place so public and I had never, ever had sex that was so intense.  Almost immediately, I climaxed hard and knew by the pace of his thrusting that Eric was close, too.  Sure enough, Eric reached his own orgasm not long after.

Sweat was beading on his forehead and he laughed, a husky and satisfied sound.  My legs felt weak and my face was flushed.  I looked around furtively, hoping nobody had seen what just happened, but also hoping that maybe someone had been watching.  Eric had awakened some sexual exhibitionist in me that I never knew existed.

"So, wanna go back to your place and do it again?" I bit my lip suggestively and straightened out my clothing yet again.

The look in his eyes was all the answer I needed...